Despite Everything
by Meanderings
Summary: Despite everything, they still believe. [Hanagumi: Macchi] Halloween is the only day of every year I can enjoy. There's lots of candy, flashy costumes, and happy children running around! But what I like the most is that I can finally fit in.


I know I'm messing around with things...

**Edit: June 20, 2007**

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**Despite Everything**

Halloween is the only day of every year I can enjoy. There's lots of candy, flashy costumes, and happy children running around! But what I like the most is that I can finally fit in.

Witch girl. Witch girl. Ever since I was born I've been called that. My mother was called a witch as well and shielded me from nearly everyone. My father was rather superstitious and had no backbone. Scared of what our neighbors would think, he left me alone in a street. They told me to fly away; how ironic that was back then. I knew what everyone was saying. I knew what every playmate was whispering. I knew every word that went behind my back.

I knew they thought I was a witch.

But I'm not one. My mother might have been, but I wasn't. Witches don't exist, and so I left England. Cursed place; if I really was a witch then that place would have never existed. However, I was something better than those fairytales. I was a shaman.

Witches have green skin and cackle! A shaman could see ghosts! I was ecstatic about it when I first saw Mrs. Noel, the late preacher's wife. I returned to my home down, smiling and such. People turned and stared at me when I came walking over the horizon.

It was like being drowned in cold water when I told them, told them that I could see, communicate, and bond with ghosts. I told them I was a shaman, and was there any difference? No, my people had closed minds and ran away. They locked the doors and shut the windows, and I was left alone in the windswept city.

I left for good, soon finding Jack. I was rather happy. I learned about who and whom I shouldn't tell if I was a shaman.

Then I met two more girls. Witches, they had first said. Shunned and spat upon. They thought I was going to beat them with a stick, and so they tried to scare me away with their ghosts. Imagine their surprise when I jumped and cried.

Three girls, all alike. I couldn't wish for more. But someone above the clouds thought it wasn't enough.

We met Hao-sama. At first, we were scared of him, after all, he was feared by all who had heard his name. Then he offered us power. Power, the one thing that we needed. If we had power, then everyone would cower in our presence. They wouldn't dare to say anything against us, so I joined his side.

Little did I know I could have been better off if I didn't. I went through rigorous training. Kanna was the strongest and my first fight with her nearly had me out for an entire day. Soon, all three of us were fighting as many times as we could to win favor underneath Hao-sama.

He wanted power, he hated humans. We hated humans, but we didn't have power. Maybe it was a respect thing.

Kanna still remained stronger than we did. I soon got bored of the tension between the three of us whenever we passed each other and left the training ritual. Mari later had more furiyoku than all of us, me, being the weakest. I just cheered them from the sides. They soon stopped fighting and became somewhat lazy.

I was cleaning the camp one day, not that it could be cleaned in first place, but that's beside the point. I needed something to sweep the dust, and I wasn't about to do it with my bare hands.

Broom. There was one lying on the ground in the shadows. But did I really want it? A broom was the mark of a witch. All this time, I tried my best to forget why I was here. I didn't want to remember that I was rejected because I was a witch.

But cleaning still had to be done and I took the broom. I was hesitant about it first, dropping it every now and then as if he electrocuted me. I don't know why, maybe my mind works differently. I took the broom outside, and mounted it like the way I had read about in books.

One stomp, two stomps. I jumped and I came crashing down. Since then, the broom was my best friend, besides my spirit. I always kept it with me. Witches are still feared, and the broom gave me a sense of power whenever I held it in the presence of others. There's always the fact that the broom is living proof that I'm not a witch.

Things couldn't get better than that. Somewhere, deep down, I was secretly wishing that that someone above would give me more. Guess I was being too selfish. Everything came crashing down.

When we ran away, I couldn't believe that we had done so. We may have been corrupted, but we still had hearts. At least, I did. I had to pay back Hao-sama in some way. I got the other two to come back, but when we did, we were too late.

Afraid that the remaining shamans wouldn't accept us, we went into hiding. I decided for England, and they followed. Time passed by slowly. We never went back to Japan, we went back to Europe, and hid in the streets again. We lived in a warehouse, doing jobs and such like regular citizens.

Then we split up. I don't know why. But it had something to do with Mari. It was Halloween. I was outside going to houses for candy, and when I came back, no one was inside the warehouse. They had abandoned me as well. They probably thought bitter towards me that I enjoyed Halloween. The day for witches.

I'll never know for sure. The next few years were spent alone, cleaning. Yes, cleaning. I had needed a job, and so I applied for a maid. I was still scared. I know that everyone still hadn't forgotten about the witch child. I still kept the broom at my side, and what better excuse for it than I was a maid running errands.

I cleaned, dusted, swept houses with the broom. Jack was by my side, though I didn't talk to him much. I would have been fired.

I didn't fare off better as a maid. Things had evolved and being a maid was rather low. The kids of my age and the house's sons and daughters made fun of me. Little Maid Macchi. Little Witch Girl. Was there a difference? I thought not.

I lost my temper, whipping out Jack. I asked for spirit control.

My actions were a blur afterwards. My furiyoku was soon wasted and I collapsed to my knees in exhaustion. I had injured the children present at the time. Some were dead.

The ones that were alive stared at me in fear and disgust. They had no idea how I did it, but their siblings, even the ones that couldn't even talk, were dead.

They yelled at me. Called me a witch again, after all, I had even admitted it to them. I told them I was the little girl that flew off into the night because I was a witch. Twenty years ago. Ah, that was such a long time, but news such as that remained forever.

They took advantage of my state, beating me up, shooting ugly words. Then the adults came. Rather old fashioned weren't they. They came storming with some stupid lanterns, though majority of them held guns and gardening tools. I lived in a rather poor area.

I managed to get to my feet and run. The next day's news was that the witch disappeared after harming many citizens. I, myself, wasn't better off. Before I could escape from the mob, they had gotten to me, held me down and left me beaten. Those with lanterns fought for a turn to hold the flame to my back.

I supposed I should have been used to the treatment, but I never asked to be this way.

I lie here now, smiling like an idiot, my future ruined even more, no potential and my body scarred. I didn't want to be called a witch. I didn't want to be a shaman. I didn't want to see ghosts. I didn't ask to be who I am.

I'll find some place better to live. I'll become the Macchi I was when I was eight, fun, innocent, always looking out for an adventure, and optimistic.

But can I still be that way? After everything that has happened, it's hard to believe. However, there's still a little hope left in the warehouse. Kanna and Mari may have left, but there's a flame that still flickers on. When everything was on the verge of ending, I was saved by Hao-sama. Now, it's just the same. Hao-sama may not be alive anymore, but his spirit is still with those who supported him.

He'll keep me alive and safe. I can enjoy Halloween again.

Eventually, I won't care if I'm called a witch. I can start anew once more. Hao-sama once told me, "Keep smiling, Matilda. Humans have no right to call you disgusting if you do."

- Matilda Matisse.


End file.
